Today is the first time i sat through a moderation meeting in my life i didnt know actually there is so much behind the scene work to help out students. But as i sat there i felt so small and so helpless. The panel of decision makers were the Principal, Vice-Principal, HODs while as a subject teacher i could only sit there and listen to the fate of my students being announced.

Promote, Retain, Kick Out. Maybe it is just me but my P has no emotions when he announces their fate like it is no big deal to him already. My form class automatically all promote even if the person has failed so badly because it is an NT class so they will all advance or promote to next level because the school do not wan to keep them here longer. Sad but true. Everyone is just trying to chuck them somewhere , no one wants to turn around to give them a second look. The sooner they leave the better since it is a LOAD off the shoulder.

...... *Silence* Must i be the one to break the news to him? I really really wish i could help him because though playful he was teachable and willing to work hard. It is not the end but it is one year of his youth wasted. I saw his face changed, he tried to hide his disappointment, his friends started to gather around him. I dont know what i can do. Maybe tom i will try to talk and encourage him more. I always tell them studies is not an end in itself and i believe they are cut out for bigger things but at least for now their responsibilites is to study well. I hope he will learn and the one yr is a time for him to grow and seize every opportunity. Life has many golden opportunities but it only knocks once at ur door. So live as if this is the last chance. I told myself that i do not wish to be one day devoid of feelings to my students because i am numb or oblivious to everything already. I aspire to follow the show GTO though u might laugh at me, hey that is just a show la how come it happen in reality. I choose to make this stand not to work just for a living but work to make a difference.

Just wanna post my daughters and son photo. Dunnoe why but seeing the girls blossom physically and emotionally and spirtually brings laughter to me. Will post my other daughters photo too just that this 2 love phototaking so always will definitely have their faces =) One of my colleagues everyday looking forward to going home to meet his son of coz though she just gave birth she misses her son so much. One more thing she told me whenever she has a hard dayt at work esp dealing with students or what worse colleagues she just yearn to go home to hear her son laugh which just destress her. I understand what she really really mean too, a bad day at work i just wan to run to my children to see them. Not that i dont love my sisters ok( My G12 sisters i thank u thank u thank u for being my shoulder to cry on when i am down and out) i always think of u all but just this connection between mother and children i dont know if u all understand what i mean. They may have caused the most pain so painful that words cannot describe but they also brought the most beautiful moments into my life.

Sidetrack i love the song by Jay Chou Chrysanthemum Flowerbed English translation. Very poetic! RAIN coming next year March i think. Haha i wan to watch. Heard dont know true or not $138 cheapest ticket. Might be kidding la.




In God's Love,
Joy