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Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Today is the first time i sat through a moderation meeting in my life i didnt know actually there is so much behind the scene work to help out students. But as i sat there i felt so small and so helpless. The panel of decision makers were the Principal, Vice-Principal, HODs while as a subject teacher i could only sit there and listen to the fate of my students being announced.
Promote, Retain, Kick Out. Maybe it is just me but my P has no emotions when he announces their fate like it is no big deal to him already. My form class automatically all promote even if the person has failed so badly because it is an NT class so they will all advance or promote to next level because the school do not wan to keep them here longer. Sad but true. Everyone is just trying to chuck them somewhere , no one wants to turn around to give them a second look. The sooner they leave the better since it is a LOAD off the shoulder.
What upset me more was my Sec 3NA class. Though i am not their form teacher technically i was for a week then transferred to be co form of another they are also the love of my life not all but a fair bit. Shocking yet expected there was 21 failures from the class and the bulk of failure was caused by their english marks. Well the final verdict determined by my P was announced in just 5 minutes , decisions were made without the battling of the eyelids. Hai my students' future were not for me to speak so i can only sit there silently to help listen out. When i walked out of the room, my heart was heavy. Immediately my student caught sight of me and he ran to me asking me what was the outcome.
...... *Silence* Must i be the one to break the news to him? I really really wish i could help him because though playful he was teachable and willing to work hard. It is not the end but it is one year of his youth wasted. I saw his face changed, he tried to hide his disappointment, his friends started to gather around him. I dont know what i can do. Maybe tom i will try to talk and encourage him more. I always tell them studies is not an end in itself and i believe they are cut out for bigger things but at least for now their responsibilites is to study well. I hope he will learn and the one yr is a time for him to grow and seize every opportunity. Life has many golden opportunities but it only knocks once at ur door. So live as if this is the last chance. I told myself that i do not wish to be one day devoid of feelings to my students because i am numb or oblivious to everything already. I aspire to follow the show GTO though u might laugh at me, hey that is just a show la how come it happen in reality. I choose to make this stand not to work just for a living but work to make a difference.
"A teacher affects eternity he can never tell, where his influence stops."
Just wanna post my daughters and son photo. Dunnoe why but seeing the girls blossom physically and emotionally and spirtually brings laughter to me. Will post my other daughters photo too just that this 2 love phototaking so always will definitely have their faces =) One of my colleagues everyday looking forward to going home to meet his son of coz though she just gave birth she misses her son so much. One more thing she told me whenever she has a hard dayt at work esp dealing with students or what worse colleagues she just yearn to go home to hear her son laugh which just destress her. I understand what she really really mean too, a bad day at work i just wan to run to my children to see them. Not that i dont love my sisters ok
( My G12 sisters i thank u thank u thank u for being my shoulder to cry on when i am down and out) i always think of u all but just this connection between mother and children i dont know if u all understand what i mean. They may have caused the most pain so painful that words cannot describe but they also brought the most beautiful moments into my life.
Sidetrack i love the song by Jay Chou Chrysanthemum Flowerbed English translation. Very poetic! RAIN coming next year March i think. Haha i wan to watch. Heard dont kno
w true or not $138 cheapest ticket. Might be kidding la.
In God's Love,
JoyI'm Gonna Touch the Sky!
12:47 AM
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Tuesday, October 17, 2006
aunna gals have invited about 86 frens last few months! Praise God and jiayou gals! let's see the YCYPAO tribe reaching our 7000 challenge for 2006 EXPO =
EXTRA
POSSIBILITIES!!!
http://www.dreamersmoversshakers.blogspot.com/you know, ever since G12 started, I've learnt this thing about making spiritual parents successful. I love G12 more and more because I see the blessings of being in my spiritual parents coverings. They spread over their wings to protect, they teach to guide, discipline to correct. just as we have this blog, let's also support out grandparents blog too!
I agree with Roman 7 so much that its etched deeply in my mind since the first time i read it...
Romans 7:14-20 (New International Version)
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord! so real hor...many times we know what we should do in life but in the end struggle cos sin is living inside us. so do you DIE to (old) SELF and stay ALIVE in CHRIST? do you die to our argumentative thoughts, submit to your leader and devote yourself to God? that's why Pastor said we have to break the sin of
Presumptions and
Procrastinations... at times we naively presume we are correct and nothing is wrong... or we procrastinates (delay and delay...) to do what is right...bless you with
PERSEVERENCE to run the race always and take up the cross daily to invite the
PRESENCE of the Lord into your life.
my daughters brought much joy to me... just jogging with them and hanging out skipping rope...brought me back to my youthful days of kampong kid haha...and you know wat???!! they actually hide inside toilet to scare me... cant believe they are still so 'youthful' or rather 'playful' haha. yah, thanks for all the laughters you all brought into my life...its worth running the race =D
HUMILITY comes before HONOUR
~Posted by Aunna
I'm Gonna Touch the Sky!
1:07 AM
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Monday, October 16, 2006
I miss the days when i can just breathe deeply from the fresh air... When my eyes will not get irritated and teary from the air that's surrounding me...
Remembering that Pastor Melvin wanted us to pray for a haze-free Singapore... And i guess that many of us has forgotten to keep that in mind... Let us all keep this in our prayers everyday till the haze is gone... And pray for others that's affected too...
Matthew18:7-For where two or three come together in my name, there am i with them.Lets open up the gate of Heaven with our prayers!!!
HAZE-FREE!!!
Lots of love,
Wendy
I'm Gonna Touch the Sky!
7:30 PM
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Sunday, October 15, 2006
Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (NLT)
This verse is so apt for me especially lately i have been having very shortfused. Been up to the max with the marking that i have to finish by Monday morning so that all results cannot be submitted to the respectively form teacher to be keyed in to worsen the condition you get horrid answers that makes my heart bleed and turns cold because what have i been teaching these students and why arent they able to understand such straightforward answer. On top of the marking today is the Sec 4 graduation ceremony which all staffs have to be down in school just to lend our presence to make the place fuller. Well in sweet we are the gap fillers if it sounds any meaner. On top top to that i have to rush out some project for my People's Developer Committee due on monday which is supposed to be an underground project coz we are not supposed to let the staff know who are sending these weird postcards. Exciting hor. Ya right....
Well dont be mistaken by my tone of speech though that was how i was this morn and i was very cold to my colleagues and parents because i didnt want anyone to come and bother me but i want them to come and comfort and console me. Was i kind to others? No! Was i tenderhearted? No i was driven up the wall with the sms my students sent me asking me have i marked finished their scripts . I was frustrated with all these chasing after me for marks as if i was so super wonder woman who just have to mark their class. I treat them nice but they just dont know where the line is drawn i realised. Sigh... But God gave me a "tight slap" during worship just now. Yes our God loving though he may be he disciplines and scolds too. I was so absorbed in myself, waiting for someone to sayang me and vents my frustration at people who dont deserve such treatment from me esp my mother. I felt so bad to "shout" at all when she starts bugging me a little. I need to follow in my maker to be always kind to other and tenderhearted to those who steps on my toes or just pushes me to the limit.
Sorry Lord i have been so prideful but God humbles me once. I love to be humbled by the Lord so that i can grow to allow more of God to fill my heart. I feel so happy every sat after cell group and seeing my tribe growing day by day. I love to be a mother to my children, mothering is fun and exciting and humbling. Hohoho i feel so joyful now though it is some wee hours already and me still stuck with my marking. God gives me supernatural speed and strength. AMen!
Love,
Joy to the World
I'm Gonna Touch the Sky!
12:57 AM
